In my 30 years of life, i never felt so frustrated like today. My mom got ill, and i still struggle to adapt in my new life in Jakarta. So i think i could officially say that i am now a sandwich generation. But, in the same time, i also want to say, that No! this is not sandwich generation.
People say that sandwich generation is about a guy who suddenly have to support both of his/her parent life and also his/her family in the same time. That make him look alike a meat between two bun in sandwich. So its called sandwich generation.
But unfortunately for my case, i disagree with that.
For me, its a matter of a time that my parent, which is only my mom left, will grow older and older. Its a matter of time that my mom will grow weaker. And for the situation that i left her alone in Solo, and i am in Jakarta, the pace is going faster. And finally, that time is now. The time when my Mom is need me the most.
I love my Mom, and when i hear that my Mom got ill, and the type of ill its not something we could call it an ‘occasionally sick’, no, this time its serious. Very very serious. My mom got stroke. And the virus is already attack her left arm and left leg. That make her cannot sit, and off course cannot walk too. When i first see her, that is a heart breaking moment for me. My heart flooded with tears, and i really-really hate myself.
I hate myself who left her alone. I hate myself who not thinking and doing something for her more often. And so on. And so on.
In that time of crisis, i saw her being taken to ICU room. In my dictionary, ICU is equivalent with dead. I just forget everything and suddenly everything become black. I hate that moment. But afterwards, i saw her safely in her bed. The doctor and the medical team doing a really good job. I got relieved in my heart.
After that, in my mind i have only one thought: this life that God give to my Mom, this time, THIS EXTRA TIME, is a present from God for me. This time is a gift for me to maximize this chance to devoted my time to my parent. This is a perfect chance for me to payback what my mom already given to me.
Yes, this is not a sandwich moment, but this is a blessing moment for me to give my everything.
Thanks God, and i hope my Mom will walk again soon. The trend is so far so good.
Agfian Muntaha 